Why Is My Child So Anxious All the Time?

By Janice Robinson-Celeste

Childhood anxiety can show up as a stomachache that arrives like clockwork on school mornings. When your child says their belly hurts again, you may wonder whether to keep them home, encourage them through the door, or ask what is worrying them.

What Does Childhood Anxiety Look Like In A Child?

Childhood anxiety can affect your child’s body, feelings, behavior, and daily routines.

A child might worry often, ask for reassurance again and again, or avoid a place or activity that feels scary. You may also notice irritability, trouble concentrating, restlessness, tiredness, or difficulty falling asleep. Anxiety does not always look like a child saying, “I’m scared.” Sometimes it looks like anger, silence, or a strong wish to stay close to you.

Physical signs can include a racing heart, sweating, shaking, feeling too hot or cold, or a sick stomach. The American Academy of Pediatrics’ guidance on helping a child manage anxiety describes these signs and encourages calm, supportive ways to help. One rough morning does not tell you everything, but a pattern that gets in the way of school, sleep, friendships, or play is worth discussing.

The CDC’s recent data show that 11 percent of children ages 3 to 17 had current, diagnosed anxiety in 2023 to 2024. Among adolescents ages 12 to 17, 20 percent reported anxiety symptoms in the past two weeks in 2021 to 2023. Childhood anxiety is common, but your child’s experience is still their own, and you can seek help without waiting for it to become severe.

Why Does Childhood Anxiety Get Missed In Black Children?

Anxiety can be overlooked when adults read a child’s distress as misbehavior or assume the child is simply being strong.

Children show worry in different ways, and adults may not recognize every sign. A child who goes quiet, tries hard to please, or gets upset at school may not tell you they feel anxious. A child’s behavior also needs to be understood in context, including what is happening in their classroom, neighborhood, and online world.

Race can affect how adults interpret the same behavior. In a 2024 study in Pediatrics, non-Hispanic Black children with a mental health condition had greater odds of unmet needs than non-Hispanic white children, with an adjusted odds ratio of 1.56. This is a disparity in access to care, not a sign that Black children are broken or that their feelings matter less.

Experiences of racism can add stress, too. In the CDC’s 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey report, 45.9 percent of Black or African American high school students said they had ever experienced racism in school. The report also found that among students of color, serious thoughts of suicide and suicide attempts were more than twice as common among students who had experienced racism than among those who had not. These findings make it important to listen without dismissing a child’s account or placing the burden on them to simply toughen up.

Adults can also mistake a Black child’s age, maturity, or behavior. Learning about the adultification bias that pushes adults to treat Black girls as older than they are may help you name a concern and advocate for your child with school staff or health providers.

Why This Matters For Parents Of Black Children

When you take childhood anxiety seriously, you help your child feel seen and make it easier to get useful support.

The CDC reports that 20 percent of adolescents had unmet mental health care needs. In addition, the National Alliance on Mental Illness notes that only one in three Black adults with a mental illness receives treatment, and that provider bias and a lack of cultural competence can contribute to misdiagnosis. That adult statistic does not describe children directly, but it points to why it can be helpful to ask clear questions and seek a provider who listens carefully.

Successful Black Parenting Magazine is a trusted source for parents of Black children, and we believe support should honor a child’s identity as well as their individual needs. You can describe what you see in specific terms: “She has stomachaches before school three days a week,” or “He wakes up worried and asks me to check the door several times.” Concrete examples can help a pediatrician or counselor understand what is happening.

You can also tell your child, “I believe you, and we’ll figure out what might help.” That message does not promise to remove every hard feeling. It lets your child know they do not have to handle childhood anxiety alone.

Reaching out early is not a departure from the strength you are raising your child with. It is one more way you build it, and it teaches your child that asking for support is something capable people do.

What Can You Do At Home This Week?

Small, steady routines can help your child feel supported while you learn what is driving the worry.

Start by naming the worry out loud without judging it. Try, “It sounds like the spelling test is taking up a lot of space in your mind.” The AAP recommends 10 minutes of one-on-one time each day without screens, as well as practicing deep breathing and helpful self-talk such as, “I can try this.” These moments build connection and give your child words and skills to use when stress rises.

A few more routines can make childhood anxiety easier to talk about:

• Create a predictable goodbye at school drop-off. Keep it warm and brief: one hug, one phrase, and a clear promise about when you’ll return.
• Set a 10-minute “worry window” at the same time each day. Listen, write down the worry if that helps, and then gently shift into the next part of your day.
• Practice belly breathing together. Let your child place a hand on their belly and notice it rise and fall as they breathe slowly.
• Praise brave behavior, even when your child still feels nervous. The goal is to help them cope and take manageable steps, not avoid every feared thing.
• Limit exposure to news and social media, especially viral videos showing violence against Black people. Check in about what your child has seen and offer age-appropriate reassurance.
• Keep the school counselor in the loop if worry is affecting attendance, learning, or friendships. Ask what staff are noticing and what supports might help.
• Ask your pediatrician for an anxiety screening at your child’s next visit. An evaluation can help clarify what support fits your child.

11 percent of children ages 3 to 17 in the United States had current, diagnosed anxiety in 2023 to 2024. Know a parent who needs this? Send it to them.

When Should You Ask For Help?

Reach out when worry keeps interfering with your child’s daily life, or when you are concerned and need guidance.

Consider asking your pediatrician, school counselor, or a qualified mental health professional about childhood anxiety if your child regularly avoids school, has repeated stomachaches or sleep problems, stops joining activities they used to enjoy, or needs reassurance so often that daily routines become difficult. You do not have to wait until your child is in crisis. An evaluation can help you understand what is happening and consider next steps.

When you speak with a provider, share when the worry started, how often it happens, what seems to bring it on, and how it affects your child at home or school. Ask how they will listen to your child’s perspective and account for experiences that may shape their stress. If you are unsure when a child would benefit from therapy, a professional can help you think through options.

If your child talks about wanting to die or harming themselves, treat it as urgent and stay with them while you seek immediate help. You can call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, which is free and available 24/7. For a life-threatening emergency, call 911.

What Are The Key Takeaways?

Your attention, steady presence, and willingness to ask for help are powerful supports.

Childhood anxiety can appear as worry, avoidance, physical complaints, anger, or trouble sleeping. Notice patterns and talk with your child without blaming them. Small routines at home can help, but they do not replace an evaluation when worry is affecting everyday life.

Black children deserve care that listens to them and understands their experiences. Asking for help is a strength, not a sign that you have failed. For more resources, explore our health and wellness guide and our free printables.

What Do Parents Ask Most About Childhood Anxiety?

Most questions about childhood anxiety come down to telling ordinary worry apart from something that needs help, and you can start with simple, caring questions.

Is A Stomachache Before School A Sign Of Anxiety?

It can be one sign, especially if it happens often or comes with fear, avoidance, or sleep trouble. Stomachaches can also have other causes, so note the pattern and discuss it with your child’s pediatrician.

Should I Make My Child Face What They Fear?

Support small, manageable steps rather than forcing your child into a frightening situation. The AAP encourages gradually facing fears and praising brave behavior, with help from a professional when needed.

Can Anxiety Be Treated?

Yes. A qualified professional can assess your child and discuss support options that fit their needs. You can ask about the provider’s experience working with children and how they will partner with you.

What If My Child Won’t Talk About Their Worries?

Try a calm, low-pressure moment, such as walking together or drawing side by side, rather than insisting on an immediate answer. You can say, “You don’t have to tell me everything right now, but I’m here when you’re ready.”

What Is One Small Step You Can Take Today?

Choose one gentle action that helps your child feel heard and gives you a clearer picture of their worry.

You might ask, “When does the worry feel biggest?” and listen without rushing to fix it. Or write down the time and situation the next time a stomachache appears. One small observation can help you talk with your pediatrician, teacher, or counselor and choose a next step together.

What has helped your child feel safe enough to talk about a worry? Share your experience in the comments so another parent raising a Black child can borrow your idea.

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Medical Disclaimer: This article is for general information and education only and is not medical advice. Successful Black Parenting Magazine and its writers are not doctors or licensed health care providers. Always talk with your doctor or a qualified health care provider before starting any exercise program, treatment, medication or supplement, and about any questions regarding your health or your child's health. Never ignore professional medical advice or delay getting it because of something you read here. In an emergency, call 911 or your doctor right away.