Every child has hard weeks. Moods swing, grades slip and friendships change. It can be difficult to tell whether your child is in a normal rough patch or needs more support than you can give at home. A few signs can help you decide, and knowing what child and family therapy look like can make the first step feel more manageable.
Signs It May Be Time to Talk to a Professional
Pay attention to changes that last for several weeks, show up in more than one setting or get in the way of daily life. Signs to watch for include:
- Sadness, worry or irritability on most days
- Big changes in sleep or appetite
- Pulling away from friends, family or activities they used to enjoy
- New or growing trouble at school
- Frequent stomachaches or headaches without a clear medical cause
- Anger or outbursts that seem out of proportion to what set them off
- Talk of hopelessness or of hurting themselves
If your child talks about suicide or self-harm, get help right away. You can call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at any hour, and in an emergency, call 911.
Start With a Conversation
Before you call a therapist, talk with your child. Choose a calm moment, such as a car ride or a walk, when they do not have to hold eye contact. Ask open questions about what has felt hard lately and listen more than you talk. Let them know that seeing a counselor is a normal way to get help, the same way they would see a doctor for a sore throat or a sprained ankle.
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Your child’s pediatrician and school counselor can help, too. They see many children and can tell you whether what you are noticing seems typical for your child’s age. The National Institute of Mental Health has an overview of child and adolescent mental health with more on warning signs and treatment.
What Child and Family Therapy Look Like
Therapy for children looks different from therapy for adults. Younger children often work through feelings with play, art and conversation, which gives them a way to show what they cannot yet put into words. Teens usually talk more directly and may want more privacy, which a good therapist will explain and respect within clear safety limits.
Parents are part of the process. Many therapists meet with parents at the start to learn the family history and agree on goals, then check in along the way. Family therapy brings several family members into the room together to work on communication, conflict and the patterns that affect everyone at home.
Finding a Therapist Who Understands Your Family
Fit matters in therapy, and culture is part of fit. Many Black parents want a therapist who understands their family’s experiences with race, school and community without needing every detail explained. It is fair to ask a therapist directly:
- How do you work with Black children and families?
- What experience do you have with children my child’s age?
- How do you involve parents, and how often will we talk?
Cost can be a barrier, so ask about it early. Nonprofit practices and community clinics often offer sliding-scale fees, and online sessions can help when travel or work schedules make weekly appointments hard. For readers in the Delaware Valley, People First Therapy Group is one nonprofit practice offering family therapy in Philadelphia to include on your list.
Give the first few sessions a fair chance. It often takes a little time for a child to warm up to a new adult, and a therapist who fits well will make that easier.
Support the Work at Home
A therapy session is about an hour a week, and family life fills the rest. Ask the therapist what you can practice at home between visits. Keep bedtimes, meals and family time as steady as you can, and let grandparents and other caregivers know how you are handling tough moments so your child gets the same response from every adult. Notice effort out loud, even when progress is slow.
Frequently Asked Questions
Will my child’s therapist tell me everything they say?
Usually the therapist keeps the details private so your child can speak openly, and tells you about anything that affects their safety. Ask the therapist to explain their privacy rules at the first visit so everyone knows what to expect.
How long does therapy for a child usually last?
It depends on the child and the concern. Some families see progress in a few months, and others continue longer. The therapist should review goals with you regularly and talk with you about when to wrap up.
Take the First Step Together
Write down what you have noticed, when it started and where it shows up, then bring that list to your pediatrician or a therapist. When your child is old enough, let them help choose the therapist, since having a say often makes a child more willing to go.
Medical Disclaimer: This article is for general information and education only and is not medical advice. Successful Black Parenting Magazine and its writers are not doctors or licensed health care providers. Always talk with your doctor or a qualified health care provider before starting any exercise program, treatment, medication or supplement, and about any questions regarding your health or your child’s health. Never ignore professional medical advice or delay getting it because of something you read here. In an emergency, call 911 or your doctor right away.
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