When a beloved family member passes away, explaining loss to a young child can feel like an insurmountable task. For Tracey Smith, this challenge inspired her to write Where’s Grandma, a children’s book that navigates the complex emotions of grief from a child’s perspective. In this touching story, a little girl wakes up to find her grandmother gone and learns from her mother to cherish the memories and good times they shared. Smith’s work not only helps children process loss but also includes a grief workbook and journal at the back of the book, making it a valuable resource for families.

Understanding Grief Through a Child’s Eyes

When asked what motivated her to write a children’s book on such a difficult subject, Smith shared her personal experiences with grief and the lack of resources available to guide children through their emotions. “Grief is universal,” she explained, “but for young children, it’s often incomprehensible and even frightening.” With Where’s Grandma, she aimed to create a gentle, supportive narrative that would validate a child’s feelings of loss and offer them tools to express and process those feelings.

Smith’s book fills an important gap in children’s literature. While there are many resources on various topics, few offer insights specifically focused on the emotional journey children undergo after losing a close family member. By approaching the subject from a young girl’s perspective, Smith highlights the often-overlooked grief of children and provides a relatable story that can comfort them through their own experiences.

Building a Safe Space for Healing

The decision to include a grief workbook and journal in the back of the book was a deliberate choice. Smith explained, “I wanted this book to be more than a story. I wanted it to be a tool—a way for children to feel their emotions and work through them at their own pace.” The workbook offers guided prompts and spaces for children to draw or write about their feelings, memories, and hopes, creating a safe space for them to explore grief.

Smith’s approach aligns with the belief that healing is an ongoing process, especially for children who may not have the vocabulary or maturity to articulate complex emotions. The exercises in the workbook encourage children to reflect on their relationship with their lost loved one, helping them to find closure by remembering the good times they shared. This interactive component has proven valuable for families, providing parents with a way to bond and heal alongside their child.

” By depicting a Black family coping with loss, Smith’s book offers representation that helps children see themselves and their loved ones in the story, reinforcing the importance of family and cultural connection.”

Creating a Legacy of Love

One of the book’s most powerful messages is its emphasis on remembering loved ones through cherished memories. Smith shared that this theme came from her personal philosophy. “Even though our loved ones aren’t physically here, their impact lives on in the moments we shared,” she explained. By focusing on the positive memories, Where’s Grandma teaches children that love and legacy continue, even after loss.

Parents who have used Where’s Grandma with their children often report that it has opened a channel for meaningful conversations about family, love, and loss. In some cases, it has even become a way to pass down family stories and memories, creating a living legacy for the child to carry forward.

An Essential Tool for Black Families

As Black families may face unique cultural factors in discussions about grief, Smith believes Where’s Grandma holds special significance. Many families have strong bonds with grandparents, who often play a central role in children’s lives. By depicting a Black family coping with loss, Smith’s book offers representation that helps children see themselves and their loved ones in the story, reinforcing the importance of family and cultural connection.

Smith hopes her book will offer comfort to parents and children alike, making grief a shared journey rather than a solitary experience. “We heal best when we heal together,” she said, emphasizing the importance of families supporting one another through loss.

🪻Helping Children Through Grief: Best Practices 🪻

Supporting a child through the loss of a loved one is challenging, but there are gentle, effective ways to help them understand and cope with grief. Here are some best practices inspired by Where’s Grandma and grief experts:

1. Create a Safe Space for Emotions
   • Encourage your child to express their feelings openly. Let them know it’s okay to feel sad, confused, or even angry, and reassure them that these emotions are normal.
2. Use Simple, Honest Language
   • Avoid euphemisms like “gone” or “asleep,” which can be confusing. Instead, use clear, age-appropriate words like “died” to help them understand what happened.
3. Share Positive Memories
   • Talk about the good times with the loved one who has passed. Share stories, look at photos together, and emphasize how their legacy lives on through cherished memories.
4. Encourage Creative Expression
   • Offer tools like drawing, journaling, or even building a memory box where your child can express their feelings and keep mementos. Creative outlets can help children process complex emotions.
5. Answer Questions Honestly
   • Children may ask difficult or repetitive questions as they process the loss. Answer as truthfully as possible, keeping explanations simple, and be patient if they need to ask multiple times.
6. Read Together
   • Books like Where’s Grandma can provide comfort and understanding. Reading stories about other children coping with loss can make a child feel less alone in their grief.
7. Keep Routines Consistent
   • During times of loss, children find comfort in familiar routines. Try to keep daily activities stable, providing a sense of security as they navigate their emotions.
8. Allow Space for Their Unique Grief Process
   • Every child grieves differently. Be present, offer support, and avoid rushing them to “move on.” Grieving is a personal journey, and children may need extra time to heal.

How Where’s Grandma Is Helping Parents Discuss Grief

For many parents, finding the right words to explain death to a young child can be daunting. Smith’s book provides a gentle entry point for those difficult conversations. The story opens with the little girl’s confusion and sadness, emotions that many young readers can relate to, and offers a compassionate portrayal of the healing process.

The book and its accompanying journal allow children to externalize their feelings, transforming grief from a confusing experience into something that can be expressed and understood. In doing so, Where’s Grandma becomes more than a book; it’s a conversation starter, a healing tool, and a resource that families can return to whenever they need support.

Supporting Children Through Life’s Hardest Moments

Smith’s book is a testament to the resilience and wisdom that children possess and serves as a reminder of the importance of supporting them through life’s challenges. By helping young readers navigate grief, Where’s Grandma is making a lasting impact on families. Through her heartfelt story and workbook, Tracey Smith has created a resource that provides comfort, representation, and healing, one page at a time.