By Scott D. Turner

Parents, this one is for your teen. Consider sending it to them, texting it, or even reading it together. It breaks down an important life lesson in a way that feels real, relatable, and actionable for where they are right now. Use it as a conversation starter about goals, growth, and what comes next.
If you haven’t read Making Great Decisions as a Teenager – PT. 5, click to read and follow the series.

Knowing Where You Are. The Honest Assessment

Before you can get where you want to go, you need to know where you’re starting from. This requires honest self-assessment, and yeah, that can be pretty uncomfortable.

But it’s necessary. So let’s dig in.

School and Education. Let’s start with the obvious: your education.

If you’re in middle school or high school, ask yourself:

• Am I actually trying, or am I just going through the motions?
• Do my grades reflect what I’m truly capable of, or could I be doing more?
• Am I taking classes that challenge me and prepare me for my future?
• Am I building good study habits that will help me in college and beyond?
• Am I reading or learning anything beyond what’s assigned—stuff that actually interests me?

If you’re thinking about college:

• Do I have any idea what I might want to study? If you’ve done this right, over the past few years, you probably have a very good idea of what you’re good at and what career choices you could make.
• Have I researched schools that match my goals? Some schools don’t offer what you want to study. By the time you get to this point, you’ll have several schools that offer programs in your career choices.
• Am I preparing for entrance exams? If not, get to know what’s required for each school and career.
• Do I understand how much college actually costs and how I’ll pay for it? Are there scholarships and grants to help you along?

If college isn’t your path:

• Have I looked into trade schools, apprenticeships, or other options?
• Do I have a plan for building skills that will make me valuable in the workforce?

Here’s the truth: Your education is one of the most powerful tools you have for building the life you want. Don’t waste it by sleepwalking through school, doing the bare minimum, and hoping things just work out.

Career and Calling

This is where things get exciting, and maybe a little scary.

What Are You Good At? Everyone has natural abilities. Maybe you’re great with numbers. Maybe you can write in a way that moves people. Maybe you’re a natural leader. Maybe you can fix things or build things with your hands. Maybe you’re amazing with kids. Maybe you can spot solutions that everyone else misses.

Ask yourself:

• What comes easily to me that seems hard for others?
• What do people compliment me on?
• What activities make me lose track of time because I’m so into it?

What Do You Actually Enjoy? There’s a difference between what you’re good at and what you love. Ideally, you’ll find a career that combines both.

• What activities give me energy rather than drain me?
• What would I do even if nobody paid me for it?

What Brings You Deep Satisfaction? Not just quick fun or temporary pleasure, but real, lasting satisfaction.

• When do I feel most alive?
• When do I feel most useful?
• When do I feel most like the person I actually want to be?

What Does the World Need? Here’s where purpose comes in. The most fulfilling careers aren’t just about what you want; they’re about how you can contribute to something bigger than yourself.

• What problems do I want to solve?
• What needs do I want to meet?
• How do I want to make the world better?

The sweet spot is where your abilities, passions, and joy overlap with the world’s needs; that’s where you’ll find your calling.

You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. But start exploring. Try new things. Pay attention to what resonates with you.

Friends and Relationships

Now let’s talk about something that affects your life way more than you might realize: the people you surround yourself with.

Do You Have Friends or Real Friends? There’s a huge difference.

Friends are people you hang out with. Real friends are people who:

• Tell you the truth, even when it’s hard to hear
• Encourage you to be your best self
• Stand by you when times get tough (and they will)
• Share your values and support your goals
• Make you better, not worse

Here’s a powerful truth: You’ll become like the people you spend the most time with.

If your friends are motivated, positive, and actually going somewhere in life, you’ll be pulled in that direction. If your friends are negative, unmotivated, and making destructive choices, you’ll be pulled that way instead.

This doesn’t mean you abandon people who are struggling. But it does mean that you need to be intentional about who has the most influence in your life.

Ask Yourself:

• Do my friends encourage me to stay on track toward my goals?
• Do I do the same for them?
• Do they give good, solid advice?
• Are they making choices I actually respect?
• Would I be proud to introduce them to the adults I admire?
• Am I being a good friend to them?

What About Adults?

Do you have adults in your life, beyond your parents, who invest in you? Mentors, teachers, coaches, counselors, youth leaders?

These relationships are incredibly valuable. Adults can see things you can’t see yet. They can open doors you don’t even know exist. They’ve been where you are, and they can help you avoid mistakes they made.

Don’t be afraid to seek out these relationships. Most adults are actually honored when a young person asks for their guidance. It’s not weird, it’s smart.

Find people who believe in you, and let them help you become who you’re meant to be.

And one last thing before I leave you this time. If you haven’t been keeping track of your thoughts, dreams, likes and dislikes, and aspirations, you need to start by writing them down. Either in a bound journal, on your phone/laptop, or just start keeping a record of what you’re thinking now.

At a later time, you’ll come back to this and start to really fill in your plan of life, and over time, you’ll turn this plan from a few goals to a real plan of action you can follow with all the details you’ve kept track of over time.

Next time, we’ll discuss goals that actually matter. See ya then.

FAQs For Parents

Come back next week for Part 5.