By Scott D. Turner

Parents, this one is for your teen. Consider sending it to them, texting it, or even reading it together. It breaks down an important life lesson in a way that feels real, relatable, and actionable for where they are right now. Use it as a conversation starter about goals, growth, and what comes next.
If you haven’t read Making Great Decisions as a Teenager – PT. 2, click to read and follow the series.

Reading the Road Signs By Learning From Those Who’ve Gone Before

Imagine you’re driving along a narrow road winding through a mountain pass. The road hugs the edge of the mountain, with steep cliffs dropping off on one side, a thousand feet straight down.

Dangerous? Definitely could be. But look around, there are signs everywhere:

• Speed limit signs telling you how fast is actually safe
• Warning signs about blind curves coming up
• Painted lines showing when it’s okay to pass and when it’s absolutely not
• Guardrails positioned at the most dangerous spots
• Pull-off areas where you can stop, rest, and check your progress

These signs didn’t appear by magic. They were placed by people who traveled this road before you—some of whom learned the hard way exactly where the dangers were. Their experience, and sometimes their painful mistakes, created the guidance system that keeps you safe today.

Life Works the Exact Same Way

The adults in your life: parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, counselors, are like those road signs. They’ve traveled roads similar to yours. They’ve seen the blind curves. They know where the dangerous cliffs are. They’ve watched others crash, and honestly, some of them have crashed themselves and had to recover.

Your Mountain Road Choice

So, as you travel down this narrow mountain road, you have a few choices to make, or options that could make your potentially dangerous traveling a little safer.

• Option A: Do nothing. Stay home. Stay “safe.” Never leave your room. Keep living with your parents forever and avoid all risk. (Is that really even an option for you?)
• Option B: Ignore all the signs. Barrel down the mountain road at full speed, totally convinced you know better than everyone who came before you. Maybe you’ll make it. But the odds definitely aren’t in your favor.
• Option C: Pay attention to the signs. Learn from the wisdom of those who’ve already made the trip. Use their experience to navigate safely, while still enjoying the ride.

And here’s a big hint: Smart travelers choose Option C.

The Power of Patterns

Here’s a secret that successful people understand: Success leaves clues.

When someone achieves something amazing, builds a great career, maintains strong relationships, overcomes huge obstacles, and lives with real purpose, they didn’t do it by accident. They followed certain patterns. Made certain choices. Develop certain habits.

And here’s the incredible part: You can study those patterns and apply them to your own life.

This doesn’t mean you copy someone else’s life exactly. You’re unique, with your own gifts, circumstances, and path. But you can learn principles from others’ successes and adapt them to your own journey.

• Want to be a successful entrepreneur? Study entrepreneurs. Read their books. Watch their interviews. If you can, talk to them in person. Find out what habits they developed when they were teenagers.
• Want to be a great athlete? Learn from great athletes. Not just their physical training, but their mental toughness, their work ethic, their ability to handle pressure when everything’s on the line.
• Want to have strong, lasting friendships and family relationships? Look at people who actually have them. What do they do differently? How do they handle conflict? How do they spend their time?

You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. You just have to find people who’ve built great wheels and learn from them.

So, Who Are These People You Can Learn From?

The truth is, they’re all around you.

Parents and Family Members

Yeah, they might seem out of touch sometimes. But they’ve navigated decades of life that you haven’t experienced yet. Ask them real questions:

• What do they wish they’d known at your age?
• What mistakes did they make that you could avoid?
• What decisions are they most proud of?

You might be surprised how willing they are to share “in the trenches” wisdom, stuff that could seriously help you.

• Teachers and Coaches: These people have dedicated their lives to helping young people grow. They’ve seen hundreds of students navigate the exact same challenges you’re facing. They know what works and what doesn’t.
• School Counselors: Their entire job is to help you plan for your future. They know about educational paths, career options, and resources you probably don’t even know exist.
• Church Leaders and Mentors: If you’re part of a faith community, you have access to people who can offer spiritual guidance and real-life wisdom. They can help you wrestle with the bigger questions, like purpose and meaning.
• Authors, Speakers, and Online Mentors: You live in an incredible time. Through carefully chosen books, podcasts, YouTube videos, and other platforms, you have access to the wisdom of successful people all over the world. You can literally learn from people you’ll never meet in person.
• Older Students and Young Adults: Sometimes the best guides are people just a few years ahead of you. A college student can tell you what they wish they’d done differently in high school. A young professional can share what actually matters when you’re starting a career.

How to Actually Learn from Others

Finding guides is one thing. Actually learning from them is another. Here’s how to do it right:

Ask Good Questions

Don’t just ask, “How do I become successful?” That’s way too vague. Ask specific questions like:

• “What’s one habit you developed as a teenager that still helps you today?”
• “What’s the biggest mistake you made at my age, and what did you learn from it?”
• “If you could go back to high school, what would you do differently?”
• “How did you figure out what you wanted to do with your life?”

Think Before You Act

Case in point. As a young man with a very promising career in the military, I decided to separate from the service. This was a very dumb decision. I thought I knew better and was smarter than everyone else. I was sure I knew better than the military, and told my career to “take a hike. This was in my mid-career, and looking back, I now see this was a very big mistake.

I then entered the civilian workforce and really struggled to make a good living. After several years of being “raked over the coals,” I decided to reenter the military, and my life completely turned around: good income, a solid future, and I felt much better about myself.

This was several years ago, and now I’ve been retired for around ten years with a lifetime retirement. Life is good because of the decisions I’ve made to keep me on the right path.

As a teenager, you too need to make these decisions and think before you act.

Listen More Than You Talk

When someone with experience is sharing wisdom, your job is to soak it in. Take notes. Ask follow-up questions. Fight the urge to explain why their advice won’t work for you.

• Look for Patterns: When you talk to multiple successful people, you’ll start noticing common themes. Maybe they all mention the importance of reading. Maybe they all talk about learning how to handle failure. Those are patterns, and paying attention to their successes and mistakes is pure gold for your decision-making process.
• Apply What You Learn: Wisdom that stays stuck in your head and never gets out is useless. Take what you learn and actually try it. Experiment. See what works for you. Again, talk to others, take notes, piece these notes together, and put them in order that makes sense to you. Take a hard look at what you’re gathering and see if this can actually work for your future. Readjust as needed, but never give up on your worthwhile goals.
• Stay Humble: The moment you think you know everything is the moment you stop growing. Here’s the truth: the most successful people in the world are still learning from others.

Never stop being teachable. As soon as you think you know better, take another look at the reasons that you base your decisions on. Don’t jump into the fire before you know what’s waiting for you on the other side, for I personally know of what I’m writing about.

We’ll talk more about making great decisions in the next article. See you then.

FAQs For Parents

Come back next week for Part 4.