By Scott D. Turner
Parents, this one is for your teen. Consider sending it to them, texting it, or even reading it together. It breaks down an important life lesson in a way that feels real, relatable, and actionable for where they are right now. Use it as a conversation starter about goals, growth, and what comes next.
Okay, imagine this for a second: you’re sitting in a parked car in your driveway. The engine’s off. Now try to go somewhere. Turn the wheel left. Turn it right. Stomp on the gas pedal. So… how far did you get? Yeah, nowhere.
Here’s the thing that might totally change how you see everything: Your life works the exact same way. If you’re not actually moving toward something, whether you’re crawling, walking, or full-on sprinting toward a goal, a dream, or something that matters to you, you’re basically standing still. Going nowhere.
Maybe you’re thinking, “But I’m fine just chillin’.” And sure, staying in your comfort zone feels safe. Nothing bad can happen if you don’t try anything, right? Life feels easy when you’re just going with the flow.
But here’s the real talk: Right now, during this time in your life, if you’re not moving forward, you’re stuck. And being stuck when you should be growing? That’s not playing it safe, that’s missing out. So what are you moving toward?
Small Steps That Lead to Big Destinations
Here’s the secret that successful people figured out early: You don’t need to have your entire life mapped out right now. Just try taking small, intentional steps in a positive direction. Think of it like turning the key in that parked car’s ignition. You’re not racing down the highway yet; you’re just getting the engine running.
So what does “getting moving” actually look like for a young teenager? Let’s break it down with some real, practical examples.
Discover what interests you. Start paying attention to the subjects, activities, or hobbies that genuinely excite you. Do you lose track of time when you’re drawing, coding, playing basketball, or writing stories? That curiosity is a clue. Follow it.
Join a club at school that aligns with that interest. Sign up for a community class. Watch YouTube tutorials and start learning on your own. Moving toward something starts with simply exploring what makes you come alive.
“Here’s the secret that successful people figured out early: You don’t need to have your entire life mapped out right now. “
Set one small goal this week. It doesn’t have to be life-changing. Maybe it’s finishing a book you’ve been putting off, talking to a teacher about extra credit, or practicing a skill for just fifteen minutes a day. Small goals build momentum, and momentum builds confidence. Before you know it, those tiny victories stack up into something significant.
These little victories really do stack up over time, and before you know it, you’re out of high school and off to other life’s adventures. Take advantage of where you’re at right now, you’ll never be able to recall it.
Start building good habits now. The habits you create as a teenager often stick with you for life. Decide to put your phone down an hour before bed. Commit to doing your homework before gaming or texting with friends. Choose to speak kindly to your family members even when you’re frustrated. These might seem like minor decisions, but they’re actually training your brain to make wise choices automatically.
Step outside your comfort zone, just a little step at a time. Raise your hand in class when you know the answer. Introduce yourself to someone new at lunch. This is not hard. Just seek out a person you’d like to get to know, and say, “Hi, my name’s [your name], what’s yours?” and start a simple conversation.
Try out for a team or audition for a play, even if you’re nervous. Being part of something is a lot of fun. As a freshman in high school, I taught a Judo class a few times a week after school. I had about ten students, and it was a lot of fun.
Growth happens at the edge of discomfort, not deep inside your safe bubble. Every time you push past that initial fear, you prove to yourself that you’re capable of more than you thought.
Pay attention to your grades and learning. This isn’t about being perfect or stressing over every test. It’s about recognizing that what you’re learning now will lay the foundation for future opportunities and easier decision-making. When you don’t understand something, ask questions. When you struggle with a subject, seek help. Taking ownership of your education is one of the most powerful ways to move your life forward.
You Don’t Have to Figure It Out Alone
Here’s some really good news: You don’t have to navigate all of this by yourself.
Think about it. There are tons of people around you who have already been where you are right now. Parents, school counselors, coaches, teachers, older siblings, or even that trusted adult who just gets you. They’ve walked these roads before, made mistakes, learned lessons, and figured things out the hard way.
And guess what? They’ve basically left you a treasure map. All their experiences, wisdom, and advice? It’s all there for the taking.
Your job is simple:
- Learn from them
- Actually, talk to them
- Watch what worked for them, and what didn’t
Then use all of that as a blueprint for building your own awesome life. You don’t have to completely reinvent a new wheel. You just have to be smart enough to ask for directions and use another person’s wheel, even if it might have a few extra miles on it.
Start a conversation this week. Ask a parent about a tough decision they made when they were your age. Talk to a coach about how they handle pressure. Email a teacher and ask for advice about improving in their subject. Remember, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. These conversations might feel awkward at first, but they often lead to insights you’d never discover on your own.
Find a mentor. This could be a formal arrangement through a school program, or it could be as simple as identifying an adult whose life you admire and asking if you can learn from them. Mentors provide guidance, accountability, and encouragement when the road gets tough.
What’s Coming Next?
So now that you know you’ve got people in your corner ready to help, let’s dig into the real stuff—what kinds of choices and decisions are you actually going to face?
In upcoming articles, we’ll explore some of the most important crossroads you’ll encounter during these pivotal years. In Part 2, we’ll talk about why you need a plan for your future. Part 3 is about reading the road signs of life as you travel down your road. As you start putting your plan together, in Part 4, we’ll look at where you are right now and how to make an honest assessment of yourself.
Part 5 is about setting goals that actually matter, and in Part 6, we’ll look at a serious trap many of your teens are facing today.
And along the way, we’ll mingle great advice about choosing your friend group wisely and how the people you surround yourself with can shape who you become. We’ll dive into how to handle peer pressure when everyone around you seems to be making questionable choices. We’ll discuss managing your time and priorities in a world full of endless distractions competing for your attention.
We’ll also tackle topics like navigating relationships and dating, building a healthy relationship with money, and developing the mental toughness you need to bounce back when life knocks you down.
These decisions might seem far off or overwhelming right now, but here’s the truth: the choices you make today are already pointing you in a direction. Let’s make sure it’s the right one.
Your engine is now running. Your hands are on the wheel. Now it’s time to drive.
FAQs For Parents
My son/daughter is just not interested in making any plans. What can I do to encourage them to look into their future?
Life is full of choices that need to be made, hopefully at an early age. Teens need to be exposed to many of these decisions as soon as they’re capable of realizing that life will not just be handed to them. A future article in this series discusses exactly this concept.
When it comes to goals, my kids have a hard time coming up with any. What can I do as a parent to encourage the creation of quality goals?
We’ll talk more about goals in a future article, but for now, a good start is to follow the acronym SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. More details about this and how teens can put their lives on turbo charge will follow.
My child seems to be just going through the “motions” and not having any real drive for life. What can a parent do to light a fire under him/her?
Children need direction, encouragement, and follow-through. A good place to start is to spend time with your child, find out what interests them, take mental notes, and keep this one-on-one time going regularly. This doesn’t need to be a formal sit-down; just time to be with your child and learn their likes and aspirations. Over time, you’ll have lots of information you can now develop into activities that could interest your child and spur them on to further ideas.
How do I help my child to develop a plan for future events? Do I really need any formal planning background or fancy forms?
Fancy forms? Not at all! All you need to do is start. Sit down at the kitchen table, or your favorite writing place, with your child and discuss what’s important to them. You, as the parent, should keep notes and have your child write down all you talk about. You don’t have to do this all at once. Making a plan takes time, sometimes weeks or longer. Don’t lock it down and not allow changes to any plan as life changes. The important part is to just start. Use a simple notebook if that’s all you have, but just start where you’re currently at and build upon that.
Come back next week for Part 2.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Since 2005, Scott D. Turner has been a Public Affairs professional and has worked with youth from many different backgrounds. He’s been a leader in a national youth organization as a Scout Master and Unit Commissioner, and has served as president of many young men’s organizations in his church. His active-duty military service has enabled him to travel the world with a camera in hand, reporting on hundreds of US Army projects worldwide.
He has a BA in Communications from Brigham Young University and did his MA work at Central Missouri State University. He’s married, and his wife, Freya, has five children and 13 grandchildren. One of his many passions is assisting the up-coming generation in making the right choices and decisions, and supporting them in their decision-making plans.
View Author’s Profile → https://successfulblackparenting.com/scott_d_turner/
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