Black, Single, and Proud: Why More Black Women Are Choosing Motherhood on Their Own Terms

July 4, 2025

July 4, 2025

Last Updated on October 24, 2026 by Successful Black Parenting Staff

Black woman consulting with doctors at ivf clinic, discussing fertility options for becoming a single mom by choice for an article about black, single, and proud: why more black women are choosing motherhood on their own terms.

Becoming a single mother by choice is a planned, intentional path to parenthood, and more Black women are choosing it. Below, one mother shares her story, followed by practical steps and answers to common questions for anyone considering this journey.

In a world that often stereotypes single Black mothers as struggling, unplanned, or unsupported, a growing number of Black women are reclaiming the narrative by choosing to become single mothers on purpose. These women are not just rewriting the script; they’re flipping it entirely, proving that solo parenting can be a conscious, empowered, and joyful journey.

One such trailblazer is JaNa Hines, who writes under the pseudonym A Beloved Woman to both protect her privacy and celebrate the inherent worth of all Black women, regardless of their relationship or parenting status. Her story mirrors that of a rising demographic of Black women who are embracing motherhood with intention and strategy through securing a sperm donor through IVF, and a strong support system, completely by choice.

“According to Pew Research Center, 26% of Black adults say they or someone they know has used fertility treatments (compared to 42% of all U.S. adults).”

JaNa’s journey to motherhood wasn’t a result of a failed relationship or societal pressure. It was a deliberate choice. At 41, she decided that finding a husband shouldn’t be the prerequisite for starting a family. The biological clock was ticking, and instead of racing against time in pursuit of “the one,” she prioritized becoming a parent.

“I consciously chose not to create a baby daddy situation,” she explains. “I didn’t want any of the drama of when parents no longer get along or the potential for disappointing fallout negatively affecting my child.”

Through a combination of IVF and donor material, JaNa became pregnant at age 44 and gave birth to a healthy child. Now an elementary school student, her child knows the truth about their origin, and it started with a simple, powerful question: “Where’s my daddy?”

That question sparked a series of loving, truthful, and age-appropriate conversations that continue today. That same question also ignited the idea for her book, titled How Our Family Was Made (A Love Story for My Child), illustrated in a Romare Bearden-inspired mixed media collage style, to help other families navigate similar conversations.

How Our Family Was Made (A Love Story for My Child)” is a heartfelt, kid-friendly book for single moms by choice to help explain donor conception with love and clarity. [Available on Amazon]

Globally, more women are turning to fertility treatments to have children on their own. According to The Guardian, the number of single women in the UK pursuing fertility treatments has more than tripled in the last decade—from 1,400 in 2012 to 4,800 in 2022—now accounting for nearly one in ten treatments. While similar data in the U.S. is harder to come by, fertility clinics across the country report increased demand from single women, especially among Black women. According to Pew Research Center, 26% of Black adults say they or someone they know has used fertility treatments (compared to 42% of all U.S. adults).

However, Black women face distinct challenges in this space. One significant barrier is the shortage of Black sperm donors, which limits the options for women who want their children to share their racial or cultural identity. Insurance often doesn’t cover fertility services for unmarried women, creating another financial hurdle. For many Black women pursuing motherhood on their own in the U.S., access to affordable ivf treatment becomes a deciding factor. JaNa, for example, had to use funds she had originally saved for a wedding to pay for her fertility treatments out of pocket.

Despite these challenges, Black women continue to lead with resilience and vision. They are redefining what it means to build a family, placing a premium on peace, autonomy, and legacy. For JaNa, choosing motherhood was an act of love and liberation. Her decision was supported by family, friends, her church, and a caring medical team. Together, they helped her create a nurturing, stable environment for her child, without requiring a traditional two-parent household.

As more Black women explore this path, it’s vital to normalize and support the diverse ways families can form. Children like JaNa’s thrive in homes rooted in intention, honesty, and love. When asked, “Where’s my daddy?” her child didn’t get silence or shame—they got a story of choice, medical science, and the fierce desire to become a parent.

Today’s SMCs aren’t rejecting relationships. They’re rejecting the idea that motherhood must wait for one. They are planning, preparing, and parenting with purpose.

Thinking About Becoming a Single Mother by Choice? 7 Steps to Consider

Every path to solo parenthood looks a little different, but many women who take it start with the same basic planning. If you are considering becoming a single mother by choice, these steps can help you prepare.

  • Talk with a fertility specialist early. A fertility evaluation can show you what your options and timeline look like. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine explains donor sperm, egg, and embryo donation in plain language on its patient fact sheet on third-party reproduction.
  • Ask about donor diversity before you commit. Because Black donors are limited, ask clinics and sperm banks how many donors match the background you want, what is included in donor profiles, and whether open-identity donors are available.
  • Understand the costs and your coverage. Fertility coverage depends on your state and your employer. RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association keeps an overview of insurance coverage for fertility treatment that can help you know what to ask.
  • Get legal advice on donor agreements. This is especially important if you are considering a known donor, such as a friend. A family law attorney can explain parental rights in your state.
  • Build your village before the baby arrives. Decide who can help with appointments, recovery after birth, childcare, and emergencies. JaNa leaned on family, friends, and her church.
  • Plan how you will share your child’s story. Many families find it easier to begin early with simple, honest words and add details as the child grows, just as JaNa did.
  • Take care of your own health. If you are planning a pregnancy later in life, read our guide on Black women having babies after 40, and learn how stress can affect fertility and birth outcomes.

You Are Not Alone on This Path

Solo parenting by choice still means leaning on community. Stories like JaNa’s, and books such as the one featured in our look at the lives of successful Black single mothers, remind women that a planned single-parent home can be full of stability, joy, and love.

Frequently Asked Questions About Single Motherhood by Choice

What does single mother by choice mean?

A single mother by choice is a woman who decides to become a parent without a partner, usually through donor conception, adoption, or foster care. The decision is planned rather than the result of a breakup or an unplanned pregnancy.

Does insurance cover IVF for single women?

It depends on where you live and on your health plan. Some plans define infertility in ways that leave out single women, so ask your insurer or your human resources office exactly how they decide who is eligible.

How do I explain donor conception to my child?

Use honest, age-appropriate words, and keep the door open for questions. Picture books written for donor-conceived families, like JaNa’s, can make the first conversations easier for both of you.

With shifting political landscapes threatening reproductive rights, especially for marginalized communities, the stories of Black SMCs matter now more than ever. Their choices illuminate a powerful truth: the ability to become a parent should be accessible to all, not only the partnered.

Black women like JaNa are not just raising children. They’re raising the bar for what modern motherhood looks like. And they’re doing it on their own terms.


Medical Disclaimer: This article is for general information and education only and is not medical advice. Successful Black Parenting Magazine and its writers are not doctors or licensed health care providers. Always talk with your doctor or a qualified health care provider before starting any exercise program, treatment, medication or supplement, and about any questions regarding your health or your child’s health. Never ignore professional medical advice or delay getting it because of something you read here. In an emergency, call 911 or your doctor right away.

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