Article by Azizi Tuere

In the Black experience, words are more than just communication—they’re survival, freedom, and revolution. As a mother, author, and advocate for language, I’ve seen firsthand how the right words can transform our children’s futures. The way we speak to and about our children shapes their confidence, their identity, and their ability to navigate a world that often misunderstands or underestimates them.

Navigating Challenges with Strength from Words

When Names Carry Our Hopes

Growing up, I adored my name, Azizi. It sounded musical, unique, and full of character. As a little girl who learned to read and write before starting school, I doodled my name everywhere—it was my pride, my identity, my power.

Then school started, and everything changed.

When the World Tests Their Spirit

My name became the subject of teasing and mispronunciations. Teachers stumbled over it, classmates made it into jokes, and suddenly, my source of pride became my source of pain. I found myself wishing for a “normal” name like Christina—something that wouldn’t make me stand out.

One evening, around seven years old, I couldn’t take it anymore. Standing in our kitchen while my mother cooked dinner, I burst out: “Why can’t I have a normal name? Everyone makes fun of mine. They can’t even say it right!”

My mother’s response was immediate and fierce. She slammed the pot lid down and spun around, her voice sharp as she challenged me: “Normal? Azizi, do you hear me? You will never be normal, and that’s not why you were brought into this world.”

She explained that my name, Azizi, means “beloved one,” and Tuere, “sacred.” Her words were clear and uncompromising: “When people say it wrong, you correct them. Don’t ask, don’t wait. Lean in and tell them who you are.”

That was a turning point for me. Her words didn’t just change my view of my name; they redefined how I saw myself in the world. From that day forward, whenever someone mispronounced my name, I corrected them confidently: Azizi, Ah-zee-zee, Azizi.

Tips for Self-Advocacy in Our Children:

✅ Teach Them the Meaning Behind Their Names: Explain why you chose their name and what it signifies to instill pride and identity.

✅ Encourage Open Conversations: Create an environment where they can express feelings about their identity, including their names, and help them navigate being different in a positive way.

✅ Lead by Example: Let them see you standing up for your values and identity.

Research shows that children with unique cultural names experience more mispronunciations in school settings, but embracing their names and identities can boost confidence and academic performance. 

This approach not only helped me navigate the challenges of growing up with a unique name but also equipped me with the confidence to face other obstacles in life. It showed me that our names, like our words, have power—they can shape our identities, our stories, and our futures.

By fostering a strong sense of self from a young age, we empower our children to face the world not just with resilience but with pride in who they are, ready to tell anyone, “This is me.”

Lessons from the Living Room Sanctuary

In my grandmother’s living room, I found my first sanctuary among pages and words. She’d often say, “Words are the clothes thoughts wear,” and she dressed each idea with such intention that even the air around us seemed to listen. Her book choices weren’t random—from African folktales to poetry by Langston Hughes and Maya Angelou, each selection reflected our history and showed me how to see myself in stories.

“Azizi,” she’d tell me, “our people have always used words to lift us up, to carry us through. When they couldn’t write, they spoke. When they couldn’t speak freely, they sang. Every word you speak is part of that legacy.”

The Legacy of Language in Black Homes

We spent hours in that living room, her voice wrapping around stories of family triumphs, community resilience, and ancestral wisdom. She taught me that in Black homes, language isn’t just about communication—it’s about preservation, protection, and power. Each word she chose was deliberate, crafting a mirror where I saw myself not as society might label me, but as who I could become—powerful, purposeful, and proud.

When the World Tests Their Spirit

Let me tell you about a moment that tested everything I’d learned about the power of words. In high school, after my grandmother passed, a counselor glanced at my grades and dismissed my college dreams with a wave of her hand.

But my mother’s words about my name—about claiming my space and declaring who I am—had taken root too deeply to be shaken.

Instead of accepting her limitation, I remembered: I am Azizi, beloved. I am Tuere, sacred. I wrote college essays that spoke my truth and attended interviews standing tall in my identity.

The result? Ten college acceptance letters. Each one proving that when we arm our children with the right words, they can push through any barrier.

Creating Your Home’s Word Sanctuary

Just like my grandmother’s living room was my sanctuary of words, we need to create spaces where our children can soak in language that affirms their Blackness as brilliance. Here’s how:

📚 Build a Black Book Haven: Fill your shelves with books featuring Black children as heroes, scientists, adventurers, and dreamers. Choose authors and characters that reflect the diversity of our experiences.

🛋 Set Up a Story Corner: Create a special space with pillows, pictures of Black authors and storytellers, and maybe even some African prints. Add costumes and props to bring stories to life.

🗣 Make Words Sacred: Choose words with intention. Instead of a quick “Good job,” try “I see how you solved that problem—that’s what scientists do!”

📖 Talk About Tales: Engage your child in critical thinking. Ask, “What would you have done in Ruby Bridges’ place?” or “How do you think Mae Jemison felt when she first saw Earth from space?”

Building Tomorrow’s Leaders

That counselor’s dismissal taught me something crucial: our Black children need more than just daily affirmations—they need deep-rooted confidence that can weather any storm. This is especially vital when they face moments of being underestimated or overlooked, which sadly, still happens too often.

Through our words, through the stories we tell, and through the way we affirm their identity daily, we are raising children who will not just survive but thrive—leaders who will redefine their own narratives and shape the world.

Building Our Children’s Word Power – Understanding the Inner Voice

In our household, the concept of affirmations extends far beyond daily recitations in front of a mirror. As a mother who homeschools, I witness firsthand the struggles and triumphs of learning. Each new challenge—whether it’s a complex math problem or a tricky science concept—serves as an opportunity to confront and shape the inner voice that can either criticize or encourage.

The Role of Names and Self-Perception

My own journey with my name, Azizi, taught me the great influence of what we are called and how we are seen, both by others and ourselves. Just as my mother taught me that “names shape you,” I believe the names we silently call ourselves shape our realities even more powerfully. This belief deeply influences how I guide my daughters through their educational challenges.

Affirmations in Action

In our home, the word “can’t” is less of a restriction and more of a moment to pause and reflect. When I hear one of my daughters say, “I can’t,” I gently add a “yet” or “right now” to remind them that their current limitation is simply a step in their learning journey, not the end of it. Then, I encourage them to ask themselves, “What’s next?” This question shifts their perspective from limitation to possibility, reinforcing that their capabilities are always evolving.

Practical Tips for Encouraging Constructive Inner Dialogues:

📝 Listen and Observe: Pay attention to what your children say during moments of frustration. The words that follow “I am” reveal much about their self-image.

💬 Encourage Vulnerability: Allow them to express doubts and fears without judgment. Understanding their vulnerabilities is the first step in helping them overcome them.

🔄 Guide the Narrative: Help your children rewrite negative self-talk by suggesting positive alternatives. If they say, “I’m not good at this,” help them reframe it to “I’m learning how to be better at this.”

🎉 Celebrate Effort Over Perfection: Reinforce the value of effort and learning. Celebrate the process, not just the outcome, to foster a growth mindset.

Transforming Challenges into Learning Opportunities

One evening, as we tackled a particularly difficult algebra problem, I noticed my daughter’s frustration mounting. Instead of allowing her to spiral into self-criticism, I reminded her, “Every challenge teaches us something new.” This prompted a discussion about her approach and eventually led to a breakthrough. It wasn’t just the problem that was solved—it was her mindset about learning and growth.

By nurturing a constructive inner voice, we empower our children to face not just academic challenges but life’s obstacles with resilience and confidence. This inner dialogue becomes their constant companion, whispering words of encouragement when they need it most.

“The way we speak to and about our children shapes their confidence, their identity, and their ability to navigate a world that often misunderstands or underestimates them.”

Beyond Mirror Affirmations

While standing in front of a mirror and saying “I am beautiful” has its place, our children need deeper, more practical affirmations that prepare them for real-world challenges. Here’s how we make affirmations real and actionable:

🌟 Connect Actions to Identity: “You’re showing your leadership skills right now.”

🎯 Acknowledge Effort: “I see how hard you worked to figure that out.”

🧬 Highlight Heritage: “You get your creativity from your great-grandmother.”

❤️ Validate Feelings: “It’s okay to be frustrated. That shows you care about doing well.”

Through intentional language, we are not just helping our children believe in themselves—we are shaping the voice that will guide them for a lifetime.

Sustaining Affirmations: Building Lifelong Resilience

The practice of affirmations is more than a daily ritual—it’s about instilling a resilient mindset that our children carry into adulthood. The real power of affirmations doesn’t just show up in moments of calm but, more importantly, in times of challenge. This approach teaches our children that their potential isn’t fixed—it grows with their courage to face the unknown.

Strategies to Embed Resilience Through Language:

🗣 Model Resilience: Children learn a great deal from observing their parents. When you face challenges, verbalize your thought process and affirmations. Let them hear you say, “This is tough, but I’m learning from it.”

💬 Encourage Reflective Conversations: After overcoming a challenge, engage your children in discussions about what they learned and how they managed to persist. This reinforces the value of resilience and the role of positive self-talk.

📖 Create a ‘Victory Log’: Keep a family journal or visual board where everyone adds their successes and the affirmations that helped them. Reviewing this log can be incredibly empowering, especially on days filled with doubt.

🔄 Reinforce the Power of ‘Yet’: Regularly incorporate the concept of “yet” into daily conversations about abilities and aspirations. A small shift in language—“I can’t do this… yet”—builds a growth mindset.

Words as Daily Medicine

In our home, every moment becomes an opportunity to build our children’s confidence through language. When my daughters are in the kitchen with me, just like I was with my mother, we’re not just cooking—we’re building vocabulary, confidence, and cultural connections.

“Kamilla, taste this soup,” I’ll say. “What does it need?” This simple question teaches them to trust their instincts, voice their opinions, and understand that their perspective matters.

Building a Foundation for Empowered Living

These ongoing practices lay down a foundation of confidence and capability. Our children learn to approach life with an attitude that says, “I am equipped to handle this.” This doesn’t just apply to academic or personal challenges but extends to how they interact with the world, advocate for themselves, and pursue their dreams.

As we conclude, remember that the words we teach our children to believe are not just about creating momentary comfort or confidence. They build an internal dialogue that supports lifelong resilience, adaptability, and success. These words become the voice they hear in their heads during times of decision and difficulty—a voice that reminds them of their strength and worth, no matter the challenge at hand.

The Lasting Impact of Early Empowerment -The Echoes of Early Lessons

In the reflective silence that follows life’s louder moments, I often think about the powerful lessons imparted by my grandmother and mother. Their words, like seeds sown in fertile soil, grew roots deep within me, forming a resilient core that no external negativity could shake.

From Words to Actions

Had it not been for the early affirmations from my grandmother and mother—reminding me that I was more than capable, that I was a precious, beloved one—I might have accepted the high school counselor’s narrow view of my future. Instead, I remembered my grandmother’s assurance that I was equipped for greatness, that my name—my identity—was a badge of honor, not a mark of limitation.

Why We Must Fill Our Children’s Minds Early

Now, in my work as an author of the Because I Am children’s book series, I’m extending this tradition beyond my family. Each book—I’m Beautiful Because I Am, I’m Patient Because I Am, I’m Grateful Because I Am, I’m a Winner Because I Am, and I’m a Genius Because I Am—reinforces the message that our children’s worth comes from who they are, not what others say about them.

Your Family’s Word Power Toolkit:

📝 Start a Family Journal: Record powerful words and phrases that uplift and affirm.

💡 Create Personalized Family Affirmations: Ensure they reflect your values, history, and culture.

🔄 Establish Daily Word Rituals: Reinforce confidence and connection through shared affirmations.

🎉 Celebrate Moments of Growth: Recognize and highlight when words create a positive change in your child’s life.

As parents, caregivers, and guides, our role is not just to protect but to prepare—to ensure that when adversity arrives, it meets a child who is ready and resilient, armed with an unwavering belief in their own worth and capabilities. This is the legacy I strive to build within my children, a legacy of words that carry them forward, long after I’m gone.

Remember, we’re not just teaching our children to survive in this world—we’re empowering them to thrive and transform it.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Azizi Tuere is an author, educator, and advocate for the transformative power of affirmative language in parenting. Through her work, including the acclaimed Because I Am children’s book series, she empowers young minds to embrace their full potential and navigate life’s challenges with confidence. Azizi’s approach to raising her daughters and her educational philosophy are rooted in the belief that early empowerment through language fosters lifelong resilience and self-belief.

Explore her work at www.azizituere.com and discover her books on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D932BNKV