Guest Contributor: Deborah Jane Burke, Filmmaker, Producer, and Social Justice Advocate

With all the guides, how-tos, and what-to-expect books out there, there’s one parenting topic about which little has been written. This, for Black parents, is the discussion of our country’s sordid history of slavery. It’s not an easy or pleasant topic; in fact, it’s downright uncomfortable. But the “slavery talk” is essential. It’s about more than providing a history lesson.

This conversation can be a catalyst for unlocking identity, spotlighting the resilience of those who came before us, and setting the stage for an abundance of pride that stems from the knowledge of all the extraordinary contributions Black people have made despite the odds. In this article, I will navigate how to discuss slavery with children.

This is a subject close to my heart because of my own experience as the daughter of Guyanese immigrants who grew up in a predominantly white suburb of Orange County, California. As Black immigrants, my family didn’t have firsthand knowledge of the African American experience (although they were familiar with the Caribbean experience of slavery).

So, when we encountered racism, I had to decipher it for myself. This led to my voracious appetite to discover Black history. Starting at age 12, I devoured books about historical figures like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Frederick Douglass, Sojourner Truth, and my favorite hero, Harriet Tubman.

I was both fascinated and horrified by what I read. I couldn’t believe this dehumanizing harrowing history had occurred in this country. This was how America was birthed? Reading these slave narratives led to a recurring childhood nightmare. Night after night, I was transported back in time to the 1800s as an enslaved person. I would wake up screaming, thinking it was real.

My mother would soothe me, saying it was only a dream – although I’m sure she wondered why her child was so distraught. That nightmare shaped my life and work, chiefly in one of my most important projects as a filmmaker: a hip-hop musical film about slavery and racial reconciliation called “Strange Fruit: The Hip-hopera,” which is made for families.

I am fortunate to have a creative outlet for my experience, and I understand that most young people do not. My parents were as supportive as they could be without having the full knowledge of African American history and its impact on us today. So, I’ve created the guide that I wish existed for my parents when my siblings and I were growing up. Here are my tips to help you navigate this pivotal discussion with your children:

Don’t Wait Until They Learn About It at School

If you’re like many parents, you may not be adequately prepared to discuss the topic of slavery with your child when it comes up in school. Additionally, the American public school curriculum may omit key portions of the story as well as not properly position historical events from the African American perspective. I remember first learning about slavery in my high school AP history class.

There was exactly one chapter devoted to it; chapter 20. Most of this chapter highlighted the inventions of the plantation owners (like the cotton gin), as opposed to the experience of the enslaved. Clearly, this topic is still considered taboo in our society. Right now Black books are literally being banned in certain schools.

So, as a parent you may find your role is one of deciphering the often sugar-coated narrative that centers the white American experience. You’ll need to help your child come to terms with what they’ve heard (and what they haven’t). This means that you’re not only clarifying information, but you’re also navigating their emotions at a critical stage in their development.

According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, a child’s self-esteem begins to develop as early as age five. This isn’t to suggest you have this discussion with your child when they’re at such a young age, but it’s important to note as you prepare.

Age seven or eight are appropriate ages to begin. You may start by explaining that there was a time when our country was being formed where Black people were treated unfairly and made to work without pay. There are also age-appropriate books you can read together to help. Some of my favorites are “Henry’s Freedom Box,” “The Patchwork Path,” and “Before She Was Harriet.”

For me, just reading about the extraordinary story of Harriet Tubman’s bravery to follow the North Star to freedom empowered me to identify with her heroism. I wanted to be like her. Books like these, together with your guidance, can help your child understand the concept from the point of view of real people in an impactful yet gentle way.

Focus on the Power of Resilience

I remember how the topic of slavery was discussed when I was in school. The focus was on slavery as an economic institution or an instigation for the Civil War. While those aspects are true, this approach glosses over the “peculiar institution’s” brutality, which means it diminishes the humanity of those enslaved and therefore, of Black people in America as a whole. A critical responsibility for you as a parent is to focus on the stories and perspective of Black people.

I would recommend reading your children a slave narrative specifically for kids (we don’t want them having nightmares like I did!). The Library of Congress houses the most comprehensive collection of slave narratives, so you can choose stories that will resonate with your child. The courage, strength, brilliance, ingenuity, and resilience displayed by our ancestors will inspire a powerful pride in your child.

You may also want to focus on Black people throughout history whose lives align with your child’s personal interests. For example, if your child enjoys drawing or painting, share the accomplishments of someone like Joshua Johnson, who was born into slavery and went on to become one of the first African American professional portrait artists whose work is currently featured in the Smithsonian American Art Museum.

Or if your child is like me, a voracious reader, introduce them to Frederick Douglass, who learned to read when it was illegal for Black people to do so. His education inspired him to run to freedom and later become an orator, author, statesman, and one of the most influential and famous abolitionists.

The point is to provide as much context as you can to help your child visualize the power and beauty of the Black experience – not only the struggle. This will further instill a sense of pride in our people instead of shame over what we had to endure.

Teach Them the Black Experience is About More Than Slavery

While it’s important to discuss the painful aspects of our country’s history, take every opportunity you can to remind your child of their rich heritage. After all, our history did not begin nor does it end with slavery. This can look like sharing your own personal or professional accomplishments or teaching them about the achievements of modern-day Black people. There is no shortage of Black inventors, entrepreneurs, artists, and world leaders to showcase.

In my film, the main character LaShelle Robinson, for example, is a successful Wall Street executive. Her ancestor Inka was a Ghanaian princess before she was kidnapped into American slavery. This illustrates how our people’s heritage began in Africa from a place of power. Back then, our people were building our own civilizations. It’s important for your child to know their African origins and the accomplishments of Black people today to instill dignity and self-esteem.

I’ll always remember how much pride I felt in my heritage when I first read about the life and work of Harriet Tubman. Her story of resistance showed me that the shame of slavery is not mine to bear. Instead, I truly see our ancestors as superheroes. Our people were dehumanized and devalued but that does not make us any less human or valuable. Work with your child to celebrate Black culture, contributions, and successes in general, as well as their own personal attributes and accomplishments.

Keep in mind, you can teach your child in a unique and immersive way. Perhaps visit a slavery exhibit at a museum or watch a TV series about the Underground Railroad. Listen to a spiritual together, the work songs Black people created in the cotton fields. In “Strange Fruit,” we innovatively use the language of hip-hop to make slavery more digestible for young people.

Connect the Dots from Then to Now

You may have already planned to discuss issues that result from systemic racism, such as racial profiling, police brutality, or even hair discrimination. This presents an opportunity to explain to your child how the country’s legacy of slavery directly impacts modern-day issues, and is in fact the root of many of these issues. “Strange Fruit: The Hip-hopera” really connects these dots as it follows LaShelle, a modern Black woman who travels back in time to slavery and discovers how that collective trauma impacts her identity today.

By connecting the dots between slavery and modern issues your child may be hearing about at school or around the dinner table, you can help them understand their relevance and see that these challenges are part of the larger, complex history of America. This perspective can help you reinforce that these issues are not a reflection of your child’s individual worth, but rather a systemic problem that continues to challenge society.

This may also be a good time to discuss the benefits of activism with your child and explore how you and your family can get involved. According to CIRCLE, Tufts University’s Center for Information & Research on Civic Learning and Engagement, participation in community organizations helps improve children’s social-emotional well-being because seeing the benefits of their efforts instills a sense of empowerment. If you’re interested in participating as a family, there are several national social justice organizations like United Way, NAACP, and YWCA that have local chapters. Start by reaching out to them to identify opportunities that are appropriate.

Finally, Keep the Door Open for Discussion

One thing that, even in my adult life, continues to be important is the ability to discuss any and everything with my parents. When it came to the discussion of slavery, my mother and father let me know that our home (or in my case, the car ride during family camping trips) was a safe space. I always knew I could ask questions and express my feelings.

Acknowledge that learning about slavery can be upsetting, confusing, disempowering and frankly, enraging. Allowing your child to feel their natural anger from their new understanding of our history is healthy. By being upfront about the harsh realities while also celebrating our strength as Black people, you can validate your child’s feelings and help them process these facts in a way that works for them. You can also shift their mindset from disempowerment due to an unjust system to empowerment due to individual and collective strength.

Don’t worry if you don’t have all the answers. It’s helpful to be honest when you haven’t quite come to terms yourself with some of the questions your child may ask. When those situations arise, take the opportunity to use books, articles, and even research to find the answers together. That’s what I did, and today I head up my own production studio with a mission to unite diverse voices and foster healing through bold cinematic storytelling. Those early days have shaped me to live and work dynamically in pursuit of freedom, just like my hero Harriet Tubman.

Discussing America’s history of slavery with your child is a challenging but critical part of helping to educate them and form a positive self-image. My mother’s passion for justice and history, her commitment, adaptability, and support made me feel like I could do anything. So, by approaching the “slavery talk” with honesty, sensitivity, and a focus on empowerment, you can help your child understand our country’s legacy, honor their heritage, and feel inspired to create the future of their dreams.

Guest Contributor | DEBORAH JANE BURKE

Deborah Jane Burke is a dynamic filmmaker, writer, hip-hop recording artist, and producer. She enjoys a successful Hollywood career and has contributed to major networks such as FOX, TBS, BET, and PBS. She is the founder of the House of Deborah Jane Studios, with a mission to disrupt the status quo, amplify multicultural voices, and effect spiritual and social change through dynamic TV, film, theater, and music, with a particular emphasis on musicals. She is a proud alumna of the University of Southern California School of Cinematic Arts, where she holds an MFA in screenwriting.