by Elisha Beach

It is the most wonderful time of the year, but for many moms, it can also be the most stressful. If the thought of the holidays already has you clenching your jaw or feeling that familiar tension in your shoulders, you are not alone.

As the default family organizer, you have probably already started preparing for the whirlwind of decorating, planning, cooking, shopping, and wrapping that is about to take over your home. You have a list for decorations, a list for menus, a list for gift ideas, and even a list reminding you where you hid the gifts. The list of lists never ends.

Holiday stress is real, and the mental load on moms often goes unseen. But you deserve to enjoy this season too. The tips below will help you move from surviving the holidays to actually thriving.

Acknowledge the Mental Load You Carry

Before anything else, acknowledge how much work you are really doing. Once Halloween hits, your responsibilities multiply. You become the costume designer, the party planner, the decorator, the cook, the personal shopper, and the keeper of all holiday magic.

This is on top of school events, recitals, church programs, shopping trips, and family gatherings. Holiday management is practically a part-time job, and recognizing that helps you communicate clearly about the support you need.

Share the Holiday Workload

Moms are powerful, but you are not required to be magical. Anyone who benefits from the holiday experience can contribute to creating it.

If you have a parenting partner, sit down and divide the responsibilities. Who buys gifts? Who wraps and labels? Who cooks and who cleans afterward? Who is driving the kids to holiday activities?

Children can help too. Little ones can tidy up or match gift labels. Older kids can wash dishes, cook, or clean common areas. Every task shared lightens your load.

Lean Into Your Village

This is the perfect season to rely on your village. Ask a family member to help with childcare. Rotate babysitting duties with a friend so you each get kid-free time. Cook meals together with relatives or neighbors.

Your village can also include services. If it fits your budget, use grocery delivery, hire a housekeeper, send laundry out, or pay someone to help decorate and wrap gifts. There is no guilt in getting support. You deserve to feel cared for, too.

Say No and Protect Your Time

FOMO is real, but you do not have to attend every event or take on every task. Saying no is necessary to protect your peace.

No, you cannot bake two dozen cookies for the school party.
No, you will not host every holiday meal.
No, you do not do Elf on the Shelf.
No, you are not available for every gathering.

Saying no gives you the space to say yes to the things that genuinely bring you joy.

Prioritize Your Needs During the Holidays

Your needs belong on the holiday to-do list. Moms often abandon their routines at the exact time they need them most. This leads to depletion, exhaustion, and resentment.

Write your own holiday wish list and put it next to your kids’ lists. Buy yourself something from it and put it under the tree.

Choose one or two nonnegotiable self-care practices and honor them. This can be drinking enough water, taking a daily walk, reading a devotional, or getting seven hours of sleep. Caring for yourself helps you show up with more energy and joy.

Give Yourself Grace and Let Go of Perfection

Unrealistic expectations are the fastest way to ruin the holiday season. You are not a robot, and chasing perfection steals your joy.

Some gifts will not be a hit. A dish might burn. The house may look like a snow globe exploded. It is all okay.

Lower your expectations. Embrace the imperfect moments. Laugh when plans go sideways. Focus on gratitude for what is going right.

You Deserve Joy This Season Too

You are not meant to be the only one backstage creating magic while everyone else enjoys the show. The goal is not to produce a picture-perfect holiday. The goal is to reduce your stress so you can be present, connected, and joyful.

This year, let go of the pressure. Lean on others. Say no with confidence. Care for yourself with intention. The season will feel lighter, brighter, and much more joyful.

About the Author

ELISHA BEACH is a professional mom, founder of The Mom Forum, newly certified strategic planner, and fierce self-care practitioner dedicated to empowering women in all aspects of motherhood. As a birth mom of three, an adoptive mom of one, and a stepmom of four step adults, she does not shy away from what parenting really looks like. She is the author of the new book, Balance Is Bullsh*t: The Truth About Motherhood and Self-Care [November 2025, HCI].